Sunday, June 24, 2007

Pucker Up

Eighteen miles left to go in my dirt century* yesterday, I was busy putting away my phone back into my handlebar bag. I just finished telling my wife how close I was and wondered if she could pick me up from Georgetown. All of a sudden, I felt a thwack on my front teeth. Instinctively, I closed my mouth, then I felt it. Legs!

It didn't take long for the wiring in my lips to fire a message to my brain that I had a bee in my mouth. Teeth clamped shut, both hands came up, and PTUI! PTUI! PTUI! Two seconds of swatting and trying to remove the bee from my mouth, while still cruising hands-free at 15 mph, I feel it: ZOTZ! Stung. Inside my mouth. The inner part of my lip. FuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckinA. It hurts. Bad.

It's been so long since I've been stung, I don't know if I'm allergic. Luckily, I have a Claritin with me and I gulp it down as soon as I can find it. I ask a rider coming my way to stop and check the inside of my lip and if the stinger's still around. "Nope," she says, "but your top lip's getting fat and red."

Twelve hours and 4 Benadryls later, it's still numb and swollen to twice it's normal size. Ironically, some people pay a lot for this.


Moral o' the story? God don't like folks chit-chattin' on the phone while biking.

* More on this later.

6 Comments:

At 6/25/2007 5:17 AM, Blogger gwadzilla said...

hot!
supermodel hot!

now... a little botox around the eyes.. then maybe the forehead

 
At 6/25/2007 10:19 AM, Blogger iconoclasst said...

How about "moral?...there IS no god?" ;P

Damn, that sucks.

So, did you finish the century, or what? More later, my ass...

 
At 6/25/2007 11:17 AM, Blogger gwadzilla said...

hopefully the swelling goes down by Wednesday night!

I should be more sympathetic
as i am moderately allergic to bee stings

 
At 6/25/2007 12:50 PM, Blogger Warren T said...

Hence the term Beestung lips. So, do you have any plans to adopt orphans from third world countries?

 
At 6/25/2007 12:55 PM, Blogger rickyd said...

Warren, no adoptions. However, I am as of yet undecided whether or not to get breast augmentation.

 
At 6/25/2007 2:09 PM, Blogger riderx said...

When did Angelina Jolie grow a goatee?

 

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